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Just Like That

conversing with myself




January 5th, 2009

(no subject)

I discovered today, that I have what they call type 3A curls! Gosh,a classification for curly hair! I am happy that I don't have type 4 though....although I think dread braids are good.You braid it once a month, and there you go, hassle free for a whole month, no combing everyday...It sure suits me, ha ha.I find my own curls are absolutely amazing, beautiful and eye catching.I read about few people 'who came to terms with' curly hair later in life.They make it sound like the most horrible truth of their lives. Come on, it's just protein with a function.I never thought type of hair really matters. Trust me, ask people who are going bald!!

December 28th, 2008


Internship is supposed to be a big huge 1 year long party, and that is how it was!! Man, am I glad to have cleared fianl exam in first shot!!! I got to be with all my friends, and chill like ice! The icing on the cake is really all the friends we make out of post grads, lecturers, nurses and patients at times.That's when we made innumerable trips to Cafe coffeee day on the highway and adopted Pastries as our staple food. I got a despicable double chin and ceased to fit into my clothes, even 2 month old clothes. I got fat, for the first time in my life.

(no subject)

Now that I have plunged head down into innumerable guides and question banks, I realize, it's an insipid life.Someone is telling you what is right and what is necessary, all the time. It's a far cry from the joy of textbooks( never ever,Indian texts, never).I stumbled upon Ganong though,and genetics in Harper. Crazily good. I was spell bound by the quality of work these guys put into writing textbooks. Got bored with all others,I started reading short stories by Saki. It's a good mix. Harper, Saki and Tajasvi's PAAKA KRANTI...Ottinalli, I feel I am reading since ages.Infact, that's what I have done.


We decided to watch a movie. On the computer. I remembered the back ache I had last time watching the movie 'OMEN' a couple of weeks ago..The monie literally kept me on the edge, ahem, of the bed. Dad sat on the chair, mom on the bed, leaning on the pillow, I awkwardly seated myself on the high altar of the thick folded rug... craning my neck. The movie, needless to say, was amazing. But i ended up with the back screaming.
This time, I propped all the pillows to the wall,kept a razai handy and dad got the peanut packet( Chitaamani kadlekaai, mind it!!!) i managed to surprise mom with the arrangements and casualty measures to save my back.... haha. Then came the naming ceremony for our little cozy warm bedroom cum theater, the glorious "MANGASHANKARA"!
Only this time, movie was sloppy.ARLINGTON ROAD. the typical American paranoia about terrorists, and it's own countrymen turn terror machines.God!
I guess Mangashankara has a more glorious history to etch!!

April 2nd, 2007

TCAs? No Thanks.

Exams are over,finally......The worst phase of the medical course has begun.Having finished the exams,the wait for the result seems endless....I hate the phase,the situation.Not because it creates anxiety about the result,but because of the joblessness I face every morning.I will kill for work,do almost anything to be employed in some way.The dependant existence is getting on my nerves,I feel disabled. Never before have I felt sooo helpless,hopeless and sad.I am tired of faking smiles now.I am tired of all the respect given to me because I am going to be a doctor. I am sick of people asking me questions about starting a 'clinic' and what subject I specialise in.The wait is agonisingly long.Nothing in my past gave me a hint that I would one day doubt my abilities to support myself......The most awaited holidays are here but I find it traumatic.I need truck loads of patience now,to sit back and do nothing.No book charms me,no music seems amusing.New experience awaits me during internship.There will be times when I shall be jubiliant about being a doctor....but I will never forget the humiliation I have endured in these 15 days.I will not forget all those corrosive comments and the scornful faces.The people who have stood by me will never be forgotten.

July 31st, 2006

Duke: To mourn a mischief that is past and gone
Is the next way to draw a new mischief upon
What cannot be preserved when fortune takes,
Patience her injury a mockery makes.
The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief;
He robs himself that spends a bootless grief.

My favorite lines: Iago to suicidal Roderigo:
Virtue?A fig! 'tis in ourselves that we are thus or thus.Our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners;so that we plant nettles or we sow lettuce,set hyssop or weed up thyme,supply it with one gender of herbs or distract it with many,either to have it sterile with idleness or manured with industry-why,the power and corrigible authority of this lies in our wills.If the balance of our lives had not one scale of reason to poise another of sensuality,the blood and baseness our natures would conduct us to the most preposterous conclusions.But we have reason to cool our raging motions,our carnal stings,our unbitted lusts;wherof I take this that you call love to be a sect or a scion.
I rarely find promos of any movie interesting,but I was very curious about Omkara since I missed MAQBOOL(adptation of Mackbeth by multitalented Vishal Bhardwaj featuring Tabu etc.,).
Despite not having slept well due to one week of stuffing OBG into my head continuously,I landed at the theater on the first day of release,2 hours early.haha,even the ticket counter was not open.Finally,armed with a bhutta compensating for lunch,I glued myself to theatre seat.At first I had to concentrate hard on the Bhojpuri mixed hindi,later it was okay.The sets near mumbai well replace wastelands of UP as a backdrop for Omkara.I must say,it is lovely adaptation...SAif and Devgan kept me marvelling at thier acting all through the movie. Hmmm...as usual,Kareena Kapoor is as insipid as her skin tone as the Indian Desdemona and Vivek Oberoi is fit to be the devdas in newspapre reports about Aishwarya Rai..Totally unimpressive and lacklustre.I loved Saif's pan stained teeth and unbelievable foul mouthing he does in the movie as Landa Tyagi aka Iago.Absolutely lovable Saif to the point that he was giving me an impression that he will one day deliver something like Sharmila Tagore's Aaradhana.
I had never touched Shakespeare in my life.Omkara has opened Shakespeare's world to me.Now I know the magic of his plays.My head was buried in obstetrics last week and now,it is buried in COMPLETE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE....Oh my GOd!Why am I not a student of literature?!
Hmmm....unofficially,maybe I am,and will be one all my life:)

July 23rd, 2006

(no subject)

Hmmmm...I love life.I love to live...every morning is new,beautiful.Every night brings beautiful memories and thoughts of loving and being loved.Each minute spent with someone is frozen,framed and kept on the mind's table..It is more appropriate to say the memories replay and the time spent springs back to life again.It helps to not label any of my experiences as good or bad...I let them be.I have stopped defining myself because everyday is a transformation.Everyday I am different from yesterday,tomorrow I will be different from today....So,I am free from all adjectives,I am just me.TO LIVE A LIFE WITHOUT LABELS IS SOO BEAUTIFUL.
I am a child,I just experience.I am relearning,I am decoding.

June 5th, 2006


I have discovered recently how people love to continuously go yakati yakati yak...Or bak-bak, as it is called in hindi.It seems tedious even for an extremely patient listener like me.
People love to talk even if they have run out of topics!Maybe it is the desire to keep themselves connected,to feel secure in somebody's company.Not that I do not enjoy talking to people,but I can be hooked to the silly mobile for maximally two hours..(I feel this is too long,but many confess that they are hooked for more than 6-8 hours!!!).I cannot comprehend this mobile phone frenzy.I would like to call it some kind of madness because many choose to stay connected rather than talk to a person sitting in front of them.It almost borders on bad manners.Late night calls are inevitable because our days are absorbed by studies or hectic work schedules.Sometimes I get soo fed up by the incessant beeps of messages and calls that I switch off the phone or put it on a completely silent mode.I belong to a rare species as I do not carry mobile phone to class or the hospital,because most messages and calls come from unnecessary people.Oh my god,mobile are soo intrusive sometimes.It is a necessary evil though.
I hate professors attending calls amidst a lecture,but we have to accept it because all of them are practising doctors.Students who are bored with the lecture keep messaging to other students in the same class.Some use silly ringtones to annoy the teacher.Most of the time,as I observe,mobile phones are not used for any significant or purposeful work....With increased connectivity,we are increasingly becoming a divided world....

May 28th, 2006

(no subject)

This is heights!I am getting dreams of topics in medicine...Sometimes it is some muscle, sometimes hernia...jaundice,larynx anatomy...what not!!!Once I woke up 'coz I could not remember a component of Gradenigo's syndrome in my dream.These dreams mostly come at early mornings.I feel semi-awake during the dream.This week it was latissimus dorsi muscle..the pages of anatomy atlas were in my dream.I am doubting whether it was a dream at all 'coz it was soo vivid and real.My mind is playing tricks:) on me,eh?!It is kinda funny.I am surprised that I have run out of topics to dream about.Ah!This is soo weird!
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